Tag Archive | Santa-Banta Funny Jokes

Timeline Funny Jokes-Messages In Hindi

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Timeline Funny Jokes-Messages In Hindi

Jokes

Angry Boss : Tumne Kabhi ullu Dekha Hai?
Executive (sar Jhukate hue): Nahin Sir
Boss : Niche Kya dekh Rahe ho ? Meri Taraf dekho.

Teri yaad mein humne kalam uthaya Liya
paper aur tasveer aapki banayi
Soucha tha ke usko dil se laga kar rakhenge
magar woh to bacho ko daraane ke kaam aayi

Naukrani : malkin aap udaas kion hain
malkin : mjhey pata chala hai ki
tumharay sahab ka kisi larki
say chakkar chal raha hai office main
naukrani : nahi
sahab mujhe dhoka nahi dai saktey

Ek pathan cycle chalaty aur gungunaty
howe kahin ja raha tha rasty mein ek
aurat se takra betha
aurat chilla kar boli
“break nahimaar sakty thy kya
pathan herat se..
pora cycle mar diya abhi break mar kar kya faida

1 Ko girlfriend Naraz Thi,
2 Ko shadi ke liye tayar Thi,
3 Ko Yaaro Baarat Thi,
4 Ko Mast Suhagraat Thi
5 Ko Pyar Ki Barsaat Thi.
Aankh khuli to pata chala sapno ki kali raat Thi.

Pappu : Sir Humara Poty Aaya Hai.
Math Teacher : To Main Kya Karu?
Toilet Chala Jaa.
Pappu : Up Galat Samajhra Sir,
Humara Answer Poty (40) Aaya Hai.

Doctor to Female : Kya aap delivery
ke time baache ke pita ko
apne paas dekhna chahenge?
Female : Nahi, unhe mere pati
pasand nahi karte!

Ek baar ek terrorist ne ek budhiya
ke ghar me bomb rakh diya.
Log chillaye – Budhiya bomb hai,
Budhiya bomb hai.
Budhiya sarmakar boli : Dhatt teri,
wo to mein jawani me thi!

On first night after marriage
Wife : Mujhe ghabrahat ho rahi hai.
Husband : I thinK because this is your first night.
Wife : No, no.. Actually it is first time in night…

Ek teacher ne bache se pucha
school kya hai??bacche ne jawab diya
school wob jagah hai jahan par
hamare papa ko luta jata hai
aur hume kuta jata hai

New Comedy Jokes SMS Messages In Hindi

New Comedy Jokes SMS Messages In Hindi : Are you searching for fun? If yes, then you are right place Tauji365.in. Friends in our everyday’s life jokes are always created in real. And note down this; the more successful people are always owner of funny nature. Now you can check out our popular category of Jokes SMS in Hindi

Girlfriend to boyfriend : I am pregnant!!
boyfriend: ru sure dat its mine ?
Grlfriend starts crying and say:
yaar saab log aisa bologe to kaise chalegaa

Ek Murga ek murgi ke piche bhag raha tha achanak
murgi car ke niche aa kar mar gai ……
murga : lagta he desi thi jaan de di par izzat bacha li..

Pahli najar me laga ki wo meri hai
uski ankhe samundr se gahri hai
propose kar kar ke thak gaya
tab pata chala ki wo to baheri hai

Teacher: semester system ke fayde batao?
cheddi : sir faayde kaa toh pata nahi,l
lekin beizzati saal mein do baar ho jaati hai.

Santa ki amma mar gayi-
1admi bola
Amma mujhe b lejati
2-4 or bole:amma hme b le jati.
Santa:chup hojao Kuto
Amma kya
Tata-sumo krke
Gyi hai…?

O mere makhna
Meno yaad rakhna
Har vely hasna,
Koe problem howy ty dasna,
Kise hor nal na phasna,
Bus mere nal vasna
O mere makhna
Kaisa hy ye sms zaror dasna

Mother: tum yeh book kyon pad rahe ho.
Kid: main yeh dekhna chahta hoon
ke mera paalan poshan theek tara se ho raha hai ya nahi.

Boy: tujhko kya bhejon?
Barish ki pehli boond?
Aasman ka sab se roshan tara?
Shakh pe khila surkh gulab?
Muthi main qaid ik jugnu?
Honton pe saji ek khuahish?
Ya
Aankhon ka ik khuaab?
Girl: mujhe bas 5 kilo cheeni bhejdo.

Santa jub b wash room jata to darwaza khol ke jata
Banta-aisa kyu
Santa-muje shak he ke darwaze ke niche wale
Surakh se mujhe koi dekhta he

Akbar: kal maine sapna dekha k
tum gobar me gir gaye aur mein shehad
(honey) me!birbal: ji maharaj! Fir
mai apko chatne lga aur aap mujhe!

Santa-agar mere hath me sarkar ho to
Me desh ki taqdir badel dunga.
Wife-tum pehle apna pajama tobadal lo subha
Se ulta pehn rakha hai.
~ Hindi Jokes SMS Text Message

Boy friend:darling,i love u.
Girlfriend:kutte ke bache….
Boyfriend:kya!
Girlfriend:kitne cute hote hain na.
~ Hindi Jokes SMS Text Message

Sardar 1- train me yaar raat bhar neend
nahi aayi Upar ki seat mili thi!
Sardar 2- to exchange karna tha!
Sardar 1- kisse karta? Neeche ki seat pe koi nahi tha.

Wife-aap bahut mote ho gaye ho
Husband-tum be to kitni moti ho gayi ho
Wife-me to maa ban ne wali hu
Husband-me be to baap ban ne wala hu
5 days, 23 hours ago by via web

Santa ka dhaba !
Customer: mere soup me makhi
doob kar mari padi hai.
Santa: to kya karu, dhaba chalau
ya inhe tairna sikhau

1 admi ka inteqal ho gya.
Uska dost us ki bv k paas aaya or bola:
Kya main us ki jagah le sakta hoon?
Bv:mujhe koi etraz nahi
Qabrastan walon se pooch lo..->

Snta ki chappal chori ho gyi
Wo qabristan paucha or waha baith k kehne laga
Chor ko kaha dhundne jaye ek na 1 din to yaha ayega hi..

Santa- ladki fasani aati hai
Banta- nahi aati
Santa- pehle kagaj ka jahaj bana
phir use class room me udha de
jab madam puche to ladki ka nam laga de
bas ladki fas gai

Santa angoor bech rha tha magar keh rha tha
“aalu le lo aalu”
Banta: ye to angoor he
Santa: chup ho ja warna makkhiya sun legi

Timeline Santa-Banta Funny Jokes SMS-Messages

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Sardar Ji: Hamne Mobile Marriage Bureau
shuru kiya hai: “Rishtey k liye 1 dabaye,
Mangni k liye 2 dabye, Shadi k liye 3 dabye.”
Man: Hum Dusri Shadi k liye kya dabaun?
Sardar Ji: Dusri shadi k liye pehle wali ka gala dabye

 
Desi Maalik Makaan: OK, mein tumko kiraya
dene ke liye aur 3 din ki mohlat deta hun.
Kirayedar: Theek hai ji, mein Diwali,
Holi aur Chrismas ke 3 din select karta hoon.

 

 

Lalu ji ek mahina obama ke pas se engish
ki training lekar vaps aaye
ek din unhe ek call aaya. lalu ji bole
“Who is speaking?”. jawab aaya
“Hum Sasura Obama bol raha hun”.

 

Boy: Tu Dharti Pe Chahe Jahan Bhi Rahe Gi,
Tujhe Teri Khushbu Se Pehchan Loonga…
Girl: Mujhe Pehle Se Pata Tha, Tum Kuttay Ho…

 
Dad:result ka kya hua
Son: Dad, ek good news hai aur aik bad news
Dad:good news bata.
Son : mai pass ho gya.
Dad : great, aur bad news.
Son:good news galat hai.

 

 

Waiter-Apne samose aur pakodon ko andar se kha liya,
lekin bahar ka saara chhod diya! Aisa kyon?
Customer-Kyonki doctor ne kaha hai, bahar ka khaana mat khao

 

 

Banta dairy likh raha tha
“aaj meri behan ko baccha hone wala hai
pata nahi ladka hoga ya ladki,
isliye mujhe ye bhi pata nahi ki
me mama banunga ya mami”.

 
ladka : Ladki se tumhari shirt faati hai
Ladki :tum nahi smjhoge ye aaj kal fasion hai
ladka : sahi hai yaar tum fado toh fasion
or hum faade toh sidha police station
smart boss + smart employee = profit
smart boss + dumb employee = production
Dumb boss + Smart employee = promotion
Dumb boss + dumb employee = overtime

 

 

santa : mujhe mobile me MP3 songs dalwane hai
mobile shop wala : Memory card hai kya
santa : Nahi memory card nahi hai ,rasan card chalega

 
Nurse : mubara ho aap ke ghar ladka paida houa hai
santa : wahh g wahh kya ultra technology hai,
biwi meri hospital mei hai
aur baccha ghar me paida houa hai

 
Techr: Tum late kyo aaye ho?
Santa: Mumy papa lad rhe the..
Techr: wo lad rhe the to tum kyo late aaye?
santa=mera 1 juta maumy k pass or Dusra papa k paas tha!

 

 

 

A Sardar went 2 hotel, ordered chicken
and waiter comes with the order.
Sardar: Murgi ki taange kithe hai?
Waiter: Woh langra tha.
Waiter: Dil murgi le gayee.
Sardar: Dimaag?
Waiter: Murga sardar tha

Timeline Sadhu Baba Funny Jokes-SMS In Hindi & English

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Funny Jokes

Train me TT sadhu se bola

kahan jana hai aapko
sadhu jahan Ram ka janam houa tha

TT sadhu se aapke pass ticket hai

Sadhu nahi,TT bola chalo phir

Sadhu kahan,TT jahan krishn ka janam houa tha jail

Funny Jokes

Santa Sharab Pikar
Sadhu Se Takra Gya
Sadhu Gusse Me- Aye Murkh
Me Tujhe SHRAAP Deta Hu
Santa-Rukiye Maharaj
Me Glas Leke Ata hu

Funny Jokes

Salesman-Which Soap U Use?
Santa-BABA’S Soap,BABA’S Paste,BABA’S Brush.
Salesman-Is BABA’S
An INTERNATIONAL Company?
SAnta: Baba Is My Room Mate

Funny Jokes

Santa: Yaar ab tu mujhe SMS kyu nahi karta?
Banta: Petrol mehnga ho gaya hai.
Santa: Petrol & SMS?
Banta: Easy load karvane ke liye ghar se 10km
Dur bike par jana padhta hai

Funny Jokes

Banta-Agar aapko Garmi
lage to aap kya krte ho?
Santa:Cooler k samne
baith jata hu
Banta-phir bhi Garmi lageto?
Santa:To Cooler ON karleta hu

Funny Jokes

Santa biwi K sath trainMe safar kr
raha tha.
Raatko biwi boli:Ye aadmi mere blouse me
hath daal raha H
Santa:Tu fikar na kr paise mere jeb me Hai

Funny Jokes

santa in Coffee shop wth wife.
santar:Jldi Pi, Coffee thandi ho Jaye gi.
Wife:ki frk painda hai?
Srdar: Bywakof Rate List dekh
Hot coffee Rs.15
Cold coffee.45

Funny Jokes

Santa:Train me raat bhar nind nhi ayi,
upr ki seat mili thi, garmi bahut thi.
Banta:To xchnge krna tha
Santa:Kisse krta?
Niche ki seat pe koi aya hi nahi.

Santa-Banta Beggar Funny Jokes-Messages In Hindi

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Latest Very Funny Jokes

Santa:- Bhai Saheb 2 Ticket Dena,
Cndctor:- 2 Q ?
Santa:- 1 Kho Jaye To Dusri Kaam Ayegi,
Conductor:- Dono Kho Gayi To ?
Santa:- Fir Sala Pass Kis Din Kam Aayega.
Nafart Na karna Kabhi Hamse ,
hum Seh Nahi Payege, Bus 1 baar Keh
dena Ki Jarurat Nahi aapki , Kasam khuda
Ki Aapko Pitne ghar Tak chale Ayege

Latest Very Funny Jokes

Faqir :Car me baithi lady se:Madam 10Rs dedo
Lady : paise dene k bad kaha dua To Dete Jao
Faqir:Car Me to Baithi H Moti ab Ky
Rocket Pe Baithegi.

Latest Very Funny Jokes

LITTLE GIRL WENT 2 SHOP-Jab mai
bdi ho jaungi mujhse shadi kroge? _
SHOPKEEPER SMILNG-Ha kar lunga.
GIRL-To apni hone wali wife ko 1 choclate do.

Latest Very Funny Jokes

Jatt- Lala kyon preshan hain .?
Lala- Yaar Ek to yeh garmi ne preshan kar rakha ha._
Upar se Roz teri bhabi raat ko Thums up pee
ke kehti hai “aaj kuch Tufani karte hain”
Mam – Agr Koi School Ke Samne Bomb
Rkh Deta Hai to Kya Kroge?
Bacha – 1-2 Min Dkhenge
Agr Koi Le Jata Hai To Theek Hai,
Warna Staff Room Me Rkh Denge

Latest Very Funny Jokes

himmat ho is sms ko apni girl friend ko send karo..
jadu teri nazar.. khushbu tera badan.
tu ha kar ya na kar. tu h meri bahan..

Latest Very Funny Jokes

Yaad aati hai teri jagte-sote
din kat te hai teri khatir rote- rote
kash!tum mere sath yaha hote,
kam se kam mere kuchh kapde to
dhote..!

Latest Very Funny Jokes

Kya hua jo kar li shadi
hm v ab to sehra sajayege
mujhe pata tha wo mere naseeb
me nhi ab uski chhoti bahan ko phasayege..

Latest Very Funny Jokes

1 Baccha Potty karne khule me gaya
Waha 1 PIG baitha tha
PIG ko dekhkar baccha waha se bina
potty kiye jane laga PIG chillaya
Saadda Haqq… Etthe Rakkhh.
Attitude Of Girls : Jab Ladke Nahi dekhe to…
Girl : Kutta, Dekhta bhi nahi
Jab ladke dekhe to… … Girl : Dekh kaise Kutte ki tarah
dekh raha hai..

Latest Very Funny Jokes

Sardar apna mobile
Qabristan main dfna rha tha
Major Rohail:
Sardar G Ye kya kr rhe ho?
Sardar: Yaar dukan wale ne kha hai k
Mobile “DEAD” ho gya hai

Latest Very Funny Jokes

Boys Mentality …
“I don’t hate you but i can’t love you”
MEANS
“tu itni b achi nahi k shadi karlu,
par itni buri b nahi k flirt kiye bina chor do”

Latest Very Funny Jokes

duniya ke sach:-
1.aap khu8li aankho pe sabun nahi laga sakte.
2.aap apne baal nhi gin sakte.
3.jeebh bahar ho to saans nhi le sakte.
ab jeebh andar kar lo stupid lag rahe ho.

Latest Very Funny Jokes

Tajmahal kisi ke liye ek AJOOBA hai,
To kisi ke liye pyar ka EHSAS hai,
Hamare tumhare liye to BAKWAS hai,
Kyun ki ki roz badalti humari MUMTAZ hai.

 

Top-10 Santa -Banta Very Funny Joes-Shayari Messages In Hindi & English

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Santa-Banta Funny Jokes

Teacher = Ek aisa waakya banao jisme urdu, hindi, punjabi
or english ke shabdon ka sahi sahi istemaal hua ho..
Santa = Ishq di gali wich no entry…

Santa-Banta Funny Jokes

santa doctor se = Doctor, dekhiye meri biwi ko kya ho gaya? Bina hiley duley leti hai….
Doctor = Ye to lagta hai mar gayi..
Santa ki patni achaanak uthi or boli = Lekin main to jinda hun..
Santa = Chupchaap leti reh, tu doctor se jyada jaanti hai kya..?

Santa-Banta Funny Jokee

Santa ke ghar mein teen swimming pool the, do mein paani tha or ek khali..
Banta ne pucha to bola – Ek mein thanda paani garmi ke liye,
Or dusre mein garam sardiyon ke liye…
Banta = Teesra khali kyun hai..?
Santa = Kabhi kabhi nahaane ko dil nahin karta hai na, isliye

Santa-Banta Funny Jokes

Santa or Banta train ke piche bhaag rahe the..
Santa train mein chad gaya to logon ne kaha, “Weldone”..
Santa = Kya khaak weldone, jana to banta ko tha, main to usey chhodne aaya tha

Santa-Banta Funny Jokes

Santa = Maa main K.B.C se bol raha hun, mere pitaji ka naam kya hai..?
Maa = Sawaal kitne ka hai..?
Santa = Ek hazaar rupay ka hai…
Maa = Rehne de quit kar de, ek hazaar rupay ke liye
Ghar mein talwaarein khinch jaaengi…

Santa-Banta Funny Jokes

Ek baar santa ka gadha bhaag jata hai..
Santa mandir gaya or der tak bhagwan ki murti ke aage khada ho kar prarthna ki….
Banta = Santa tum bhagwan se yehi maang rahe ho na ki tumhara gadha mil jaaye..?
Santa = Nahin yaar, main to bhagwan ko thankyou bol raha hun..
Banta = Kyun..?
Santa = Arey! bhagwan ki kirpa se jab gadha bhaga to main uspe sawaar nahin tha,
Nahin to main bhi uske saath bhaag jata…..

Santa-Banta Funny Jokes

Santa ne Banta ko hindi sms bheja = Bhejne wala mahaan, padhne wala gadha.
Banta gusse me wapis sms bheja = Bhejne wala gadha, padhne wala mahaan…..

Santa-Banta Funny Jokes

Santa = Apni khubsurat biwi ke saath car mein baith kar ja raha tha….
Driver ne mirror set kiya..
Santa ghusse mein bola = Meri biwi ko dekhta hai,
Chal tu piche baith car main chalaunga….

Santa-Banta Funny Jokes

Santa = Mujhse panga mat le, main sher ka puttar hun..
Banta = Achchha yaar, ye to bata ki sher ghar aaya tha ya aunti jungle gayi thi

Santa-Banta Funny Jokes

Santa petrol pump par gaya, wahan usne board par likha dekha,
“Yahan phone par baat karna manaa hai”.
Santa ne phone nikala or apne sabhi doston ko phone karke kaha: –
“Mujhe abhi phone mat karna”.

Santa-Banta Funny Jokes

Sabziwala sabzi par paani chhidak raha tha..
Kaafi der ho gayi to santa sabziwale se bola = Agar sabzi ko hosh aa gaya ho..
To ek kilo sabzi de do….

Santa-Banta Funny Jokes

Santa = Yaar aaj tak mera itna apmaan kabhi nahin hua….
Meri nayi padosan ne mujhe nahaate hue dekh liya.
Banta = To ab tu kya chahta hai..?
Santa = Badlaa

 

Lot-pot Hasi ke Fuhare Santa Banta Funny Jokes-Shayari In Hindi

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Funny Jokes in Hindi

?Sardar ne apni sagaai tod di…
Kyonki,
Ladki kunwari thi…
Sardar bola: Jo aaj tak kisi ki nahi hui, wo meri kya hogi..
Mujhko Aisa Dard Mila
Jiski Koi Dawa Nahi!!
Fir bhi Khush Hun Q ki
Mujhe Us Se Koi Gila Nahi.

Funny Jokes in Hindi

Girl -” Tum kya kar rahe ho
Boy:” Macchar
Girl:” Abhi tk kitne maare??
Boy:” pure 5 ( 3 Female 2 male)
Girl:” Male Female kaise pata chala ??
.
.
.
Boy:” unme se 3 mirror or 2 bear ke pass bithi thi
Ek Buddha ek ladki se tak ra gaya
Buddha : sorry
Ladki : Andha hai kya ? dikhta nahi h
Ladki Jaise hi aage Badi ek handsom sa ladka takra gaya
Ladka : sorry
Ladki : it’s ok
Buddha ladki se : mere sorry ki spelling galat thi kya

Funny Jokes in Hindi

1 Murgi Ne BAAZ se shadi kar li cute sms hindi
Murga: Hum mar gye the kya
Murgi: Me to tumse hi shadi krna chahti thi
par Mom – dad chahte the ladka Air-Force me ho.

Funny Jokes in Hindi

Chand Ko Apne Noor Pe Guroor Hai,
Himesh Ko Apni Topi Ka Suroor Hai..
Mujhe Bhi Apne Pe Guroor Hai,
Kyuki Mere Paas Bhi Free K Msg Padhnewala Langur Hai

Funny Jokes in Hindi

Yaad hai hum pehle kahan mile the?

Train ruki
khidaki khuli
nazron se nazrien mili or
aap ne kaha
Allah ke naam pe kuch dedo baba

Funny Jokes in Hindi

A Boy Call her Ex girlfriend.
Boy: hey i just saw a movie, it reminded me of u….miss u
Girl: awww.. even i miss u 2..
konsi movie dekhi?
Boy: Ek thi Daayan!:-

Funny Jokes in Hindi

Sacche Friend ki 3 Nishaniyan:
1) Kamine Kabhi call nahi karenge.
2) Zalim has~has k sms padhenge.
3) Chahe jitni beizzati karlo.
Besharam SMS pura padhenge

Funny Jokes in Hindi

Mobile ek MANDIR hai,
Sim card uska DEVTA,
Call karne wala PUJARI,
Sms bhejne wala DANI,
Padhane wala BHAKT
Reply na karne wala mandir ka BHIKARI

Funny Jokes in Hindi

BOY- sir iska kya mtlb hai “I M GOING”
.
SIR- mai ja raha hu.
.
BOY- sir bataiye na
.
SIR- Mai ja raha hu
.
BOY-saale aise kaise chala jaega
Answr bata k ja.

Funny Jokes in Hindi

2 Brilliant MindS
Pathan & Sardar
Pani Peeny Gaey To GlasS Ulta Para Tha
Sardar:
iSKa To Moo He Band Hy
Pathan:
haan rehne do Neechy Sy Bhi Toota Howa Hy.

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Santa-Banta Funny Jokes

Sardar: Station jaane k kitne logay?
Rikshawala: 50
Sardar: 20 lelo
Riksha: 20 main kon le k jaayeega?
Sardar: tum piche bheto hum leke jaayega

Santa-Banta Funny Jokes

School mein Master ji ne chote santa se poocha:
Jisme koyi kami nahi usko kya kehte hai.?
aur jawab aayi:
Kami- na

Santa-Banta Funny Jokes

Ek Raat,
ek Chor,
ek Sardar k Ghar me Ghus gaya aur bola: SONA kaha hai?
Sardar: Ullu k patthe,
pura Ghar khaali hai kahi bhi jaake SOJA

Santa-Banta Funny Jokes

1 Over me Kitne Balls Peke Jate hai
Kya apne kaha 6?
Galat jawab
1 over me 1 hi ball 6 bar feka jata he
Bade aye!
Cricket k shokeeeen

Santa-Banta Funny Jokes

A Sardar was working 1st time in a garment shop.
A customer girl asked:
Underwear dikhana plz.
Sardar thora sharmakar:
G aaj nahi pehni

Santa-Banta Funny Jokes

Santa asks Banta: Tujay larki phasani aati hai?
Banta: Nahi..!
Santa: Nahi aati to seekh le..
Pehle ek kaagaz ka jahaaz bana..
Phir usay class mein ura..
Mam k puchne par.. larki ka naam lagade..
BAS PHAS GAI LARKI . . .