Tag Archive | Husband wife Funny Jokes

Husband Wife Funny Jokes-Messages

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Girlfriend : Es Week roj shopping karenge
next week roj movie dekhenge
boyfriend : uske agle week roj mandir jayenge
girlfriend : kyu
Boyfriend : bhik mangne

Wife : Agar me marr Jau to tum kya karoge
husband ; shayad me bhi marr jaunga
wife : kyon
husband : kabhi kabhi zyada khushi janleva hoti hain

Wife : batao me tumhekitni achi lagti hu
husband ; bhut jada
wife : fir bhi batao kitni
husband; itni ki dil karta hain tere jaisi 1 aur lelu

Sun & Wife kya diffrence hai
bahut hi aasan hain aap dono ke
samne hi gur-gur ke nahi dekh sakte

Wife : kuch saal pehle mera figure pepsi ki bottle ki tarah tha
husband : wo to ab bhi hain phle bottle 300ml ki thi
ab bottle 2ltr ki hogyi hain

Patni : ye kya hain ji aap roz subah mere muhh pe pani kyu dalte ho
pati kyon ki mujhe tere baap ne kaha tha ki
meri beti phool si najuk hain ise kbhi murjhane mt dena

 

Husband Wife Funny Jokes-shayari SMS In Hindi

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Na tu shayar hain na shayar ka bhatija hai
na tu shayar hai na tu shayar ka bhatija hai
tu mere pati ke manoranjan ka natija hain

Jitne channel TV ke
utne Nakhre Biwi Ke
TV chalta hain remote se
Biwi chalti Hai note Se

Hum ladke har kaam me kamal karde
jo wada kre wo pura hr hal me karde
kya jrurat hai ldkiyo ko Lipstick lagne ki
hamse khe ham chum-2 kar hi laal karde

Pyaar kare ki ek reet hain
pyar ka dusra naam hi reet hain
isliye try karo har ladki par
kyuki darr ke aage jeet hain

Na jane kab koi taara toot jaaye
na jaane kab koi aansu aankho se nikal jaye
kuch pal hamare saath bhi has lo
na jaane kab tumhare daant toot jaye

Jindagi apni masti me jiya karo
ishq bahut bura hai na kiya karo
tum apna pura dhyan carrier par mod do
ishq aur gilfriend ko mujh par chod do

Fida hu uski chaal par
uske bolne ki taal par
chahe tamacha lage gaal par
bol deta hu sare jahan se
nazar mat daalna mere maal par

Kisi ko apna banalo ya kisi ke ho jao
agar kuch bhi nahi hota
DON’T WoRRY
Chadar-takiya lo aur so jao

Dosti agar buri hai to hone mat do
ho gayi to use khone mat do
aur agar dost ho sabse pyara to
us dost ko chain ki neend sone mat do

har doori mitani padthi hai
har baat btani padhti hai
lagta hai dosto ke pass waqt hi nahi hai
aaj kal khud apni yaad dilaani padhti hai

Arz kiya hain dil logi ya jaan logi
wha wah dil logi ya jaan logi wah wah
meri jaan set hone me kitna time logi

Badal garaz shor ke sath
barish hui zor ke sath
zra dhayan rakhna apni girlfriend ka
kahin bhag na jaye kisi aur ke sath

Arj kiya haiyu na kisi ke dil se khelo
yu na kisi ke dil se khelo
jab sms hi nahi karna hai to
phone bechkar radio hi lelo

Husband Wife funny Jokes-Messages SMS

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Ek aadami kumbh mela me prathna kar raha tha
hey prabhu neaye karo hamesha bhai bhai bichadte hai
kabhi kabhi pati-patni par bhi toh try karo

Santa apne bete ke sath chini lene dukan par gya
dukandar bola chini out of stock hai
santa ke bete ne santa se pucha out of stock kya hota hai
papa ne kaha jab wo chiz nahi hai or ghar gaya tabhi
kisi ne gate bajaya or bola ki snata hai
santa ne apne bete ko bola bolo do ki papa ghar me nahi hai
santa ne use bola mere papa out of stock hai

Chikki mere toh karam fut gaye jo tumhare pale bandhi
warna mere liye toh ek se badkar ek kabil ladko ke
rishte aa rahe the jo
chintu wo sab vakai kabil the jo fashne se bach gaye

Ek pathan Cycle chalate aur gungunate howe kahin
ja raha tha rastae mein ek aurat se takra betha.
Aurat chilla kar boli, “Break nahi maar sakte they kya ???”
cycle Pathan herat se… “Pora cycle mar deya abhi break
mar kar kia faida.”

Bania’s son: Daddy meri door ki nazar kharab hai SPECKS banwa do.
Kanjoos Bania took him outside & said: Woh dekh kya hai?
Son: Suraj
Kanjoos Bania: Abbe ullu ke patthe, aur kitni dur tak dekhna chahe hai tu.

4 saal ka bachha apni maa se kaise paida houa me
maa meine ek box me mithai dalkar rakh di thi
us me se toh nikale
ladke ne ek box me mithai dalkar rah diya Aur
alge din Box khola tho usme cockroach Nikala
toh ladka bola man toh karta tujhe maar dalu
par kya karu par bachha toh mera hai

Ek ladka apni girlfriend se baat karne ki kosis me
phone karta hai trin tring aunty payal Hai
aunty : ha beta ,dono pairo me hai

Timeline Husband Wife Funny Jokes -Messages In Hindi & English

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Husband & wife Jokes

patni-mai driver k naukri se nikal rhi hu
kyuki mai aj dusari bar marte marte bachi hu.
pati-plz darling,use ek mauka aur deno na..plzzz

Husband & wife Jokes

pati-raja dashrath ki 3 patni thi..
patni-to?
pati-to mai abhi 2 shaddi aur k sakta hu..
patni-soch lo….!!!!draupati k 5 pati the….
pati-mai apni biwi ko B.A phir M.A phir Ph.d karwaunga
ushko ek achi se job dilwaunga..
frnd-phir koi acha sa ladka dhundh
kr ushki shaadi bhi krwa dena.

Husband & wife Jokes

pati prawachan sun k aya aur
patni ko godd mai utha liya
patni-guruji ne kya rommance
krne ko kaha hai kya?
pati-nhi pagli unhone kaha hai
apkna dukh khud uthana chahiye.

Husband & wife Jokes

pati- maine aj ek sapna dekha?
patni-kya?
pati-ki tm kise se pyar kr rahi ho.
patni-kya tmne use pehchana?
pati-nhi pehchan paya,kyuki mai raat
mai bina chasma k hi so gaya tha.

Husband & wife Jokes

shadi ki mauk pr dulha dulhan ki
mang sindur bharne laga to
ek bola -yaar, ye rashm agar ulati ho jani chahiye
yani dunhan dulhe ki mang mai sindur bhare.
dusara bola-agar aisa hua to duniya k sare
takle kuware hi reh jayenge

Husband & wife Jokes

pati- hipnotis kya hota hai?
patni-kisiko apne control mai kr k apne marji ka kaam krwana.
pati-chal jhuti!!!! use to shaadi kehte hai
ek pati apni patni ko yeh keh kr chidata tha- 3 bacho ki amma
patni ko bahut gussa ata tha
ek din jaise hi pati ne bola 3 bacho ki amma
patni ne turant jwab diya bolo- 2 bacho k papa..

Timeline Husband-Wife Funny Jokes-Messages In Hindi

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Husband-Wife Jokes

Kuware sochte hai ke shadishuda achhe hai
Shadishuda sochte hai ke kuware achhe hai
Fark sirf itna hai ki..
Shadishuda din mein sochte hai aur kuware raat ko..

Husband-Wife Jokes

Suhag raat ko dulha bola:
Priye bolo, aaj tujhe chand pe
le jaun ya taaron me?
Dulhan: Pehle apna Rocket dikhao,
phir decide karungi.

Husband-Wife Jokes

Kabhi Bahut Dukhi ho to apni shaadi
ka video ulta chala ke dekhna. =
Maza aa jayega Aapki Biwi
Aapke gale se haar utaaregi.
Car me baithegi Aur
Mayke Laut jayegi
Aur hum dance karte karte
apne ghar vapas ayenge

Husband-Wife Jokes

SANTA ki biwi ne Frying pan uthakar
Santa ke sir pr de maari
SANTA – “kyon mara
WIFE – “Tumahari dairy me kisi basanti ka
naam likha hai koun hai ye basanti
SANTA – “kal race me meine jis ghodi par
Daav lagya uska naam hai
WIFE – “Ok i am sorry”
Agale din santa ki biwi ne phir mara.
SANTA – “ab kyu mara?”
WIFE – “Tumhari godhi ka phon aaya hai
JAAKAR UTHA LO !!!”

 

Husband-Wife Jokes

Wife: Do you want dinner?
Husband: Sure, what are my choices?
Wife: Yes and no
Wife going to USA
Wife: Do u want anything from USA?
Husband: Yeah, an English girl
Wife returns from USA
Husband: where’s my gift?
Wife: wait for 9 months

 

Husband-Wife Jokes

Husband:u will never succeed
in making that dog obey u!
Wife:Nonsense it’s only a matter of patience,
I had a lot of trouble with u at first.
Husband:u will never succeed
in making that dog obey u!
Wife:Nonsense it’s only a matter of patience,
I had a lot of trouble with u at first.

 

 

 

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Girlfriend Funny Jokes

I told her:
If you love me, kal red pahan ke aana.
Wo black pehan ke aayi.
Mujhe bura laga.
Jab wo coffee uthaane jhuki…
toh maine jaana, wo andar se pyar karti hai

Girlfriend Funny Jokes

Girl to Baba: If I kiss a boy to kya hoga?
Baba: Narak mein jaogi sidhe?
Girl: Acha agar ap ko kiss karun toh?
Baba: chalak ladki swarg mein jana chahti hai.

Girlfriend Funny Jokes

Girls Mohabbat to kisi 1 se karungi,
Ho sake to kisi nek se karungi,
Lekin jab tak na milega wo nek ladka
‘TRY’ to har 1 ko karungi.

Girlfriend Funny Jokes

Boy on a date in his BMW car.
Maine tumse ek baat chupayi hai..
GF: kya?
BF: I m alrdy mrried!
GF: Tumne toh dara hi diya tha..
maie samjhi BMW tumhari nahi hai

Girlfriend Funny Jokes

Girls ki problem
Simple ladke pasand nahi,
Modern ladke sincere nahi,
Ranbir kapoor milta nahi,
aur
Main in chakkaro me padta nahi…

Girlfriend Funny Jokes

Boy & Girl Playing Ludo…
Boy: Agar 1 se 5 me aaya to I Kiss u
Girl: What??
Acha aur 6 Aaya To
.
Boy: Kabi Ludo Nahi Kheli Kya?
6 Aaya To dubara meri bari..

Girlfriend Funny Jokes

Ladkiyo ki jeans mein (chain) kyun hoti hai..
jab ki uska koi use nahi hota?
reply must agar nahi pata to is sms ko aag ki tarah faila do,
mujhe jawab chahiye..

Girlfriend Funny Jokes

Girl Demanded for Ice Cream
Boy Purchased It
Girl: Thank U
Boy: Sirf Thank U
Girl: U Want Kiss Na?
Boy: Arrey Romance Ki Bhuki, Aadhi Icecream De.

Girlfriend Funny Jokes

Girls not remain without boys.. How??
Fe(male)-male
Wo(man)-man
S(he)-he
So dont try to be alone.

 

Latest Romantic Funny Jokes-Messages For Lover/Friends/& whatsapp Status

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Girls Latest Funny Jokes

Dhadkan dil ki ruk jati hai,
Sanse aksar tham jati hai,
Bahut buri halat hoti hai yaaro,
Jab
Girlfriend se shadi karne ki naubat aati hai

Girls Latest Funny Jokes

Boy: Duniya bhulai meine tere liye,
Jannate sajai meine tere liye,
par tune kya kiya mere liye..
Girl: Munnii
badnaam hui Darling tere liye.

Girls Latest Funny Jokes

Girl: Whats ur name.
Boy: Black Lion.
Girl: Ru joking?
Boy: No it means kalo singh and ur name.
Girl: Soft underwear.
Boy: Ru joking?
Girl: No it means komal chadda.

Girls Latest Funny Jokes

Phone mat kiya karo Dear,
Mom hoti hai near,
Papa se lagta hai fear
Baat bhi hoti nahi clear,
Isliye SMS karo Dear,
Witout fear & very clear

Girls Latest Funny Jokes

GIRL: Mujhe Kyu Dekh Rahe Ho? Tumhari Koi Behen Nahi Hai Kya?
BOY: Hai IsiLiye Toh Dekh Raha Hu.
GIRL: Kyu?
BOY: Meri Behen Ko BHABHI Chahiye.

Girls Latest Funny Jokes

Boy: can i touch your software?
Girl: first show me your hardware
Boy: can i install it in your system
Girl: cover it with antivirus and then install

Girls Latest Funny Jokes

dil todne ki saja nhi milti,
dil tutne ki wajah nhi milti,
maal to bht phas jate hai mere dost,
bas unhe thokne ki jagah nhi milti….

Girls Latest Funny Jokes

Ladki patane ka tarika..
Chupke se usko piche jakar pakad lo
Agar hasi to samjo FASI
&
Agar gussa huyi to zor zor se chillao
.
DIDI DAR GAYI
DIDI DAR GAYI